Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
