she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
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