8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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