I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
