Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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