Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
