so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
the day after is always just damage control
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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