So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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