You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
she peed on how many people?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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