My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
