fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
