Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
