How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
