I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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