I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
