I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Randomize
