I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
