At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
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