I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
love makes seman taste better
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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