There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
