On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
where does the pee come out of this thing
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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