i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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