great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
