I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
