I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
