is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
