I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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