Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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