Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
