You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize