Kareoke will never be a sober sport
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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