I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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