I think I won the penis lottery.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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