then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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