You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
