It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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