I feel like I'm in dance class right now
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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