a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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