She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize