Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
