so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
is that a dick in a sweater?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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