Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
