i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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