just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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