she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
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Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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