Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
