I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
