No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
