So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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