I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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