I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
