He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
