he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
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