I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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