Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Couch. On fire.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
